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Finally! A Postive Redefinition of Wedding Roles!

Two men and one maid of honour

I didn’t have a best man at my wedding. My wife in I got married not long after meeting each other and the spontaneity combined with the fact that my closest friends and family were thousands of miles from the wedding - my wife’s home in the Faroe Island’s – meant I had no one standing with me.

Today, the traditional roles of best man and maid of honour are more flexible. Some grooms may have three best men. Or, perhaps, they will choose a woman if they feel their closest platonic friendship is female. Likewise, some women have begun to have a ‘man of honour’ instead of a maid. No, this isn't just a woman with her 'safe gay best friend'. The articles documenting this trend can be found in a variety of sources including this one in The Gaurdian.

From a Christian perspective, this trend is a positive one. Why? Because it flows against the Freudian tide that for almost a century has insinuated that all close relationships between men and women must be sexually motivated. This prevailing attitude has made it hard for Christian men and women to be brothers and sisters in the true sense within the church. Christ has died to make us family, to make us one. Our friendships should challenge racial, generational and gender barriers. Also, if romantic partners are more accepting of the presence of close cross-gender friendships, it means there is less insecurity and jealousy around.

If I have one reservation, it would simply be that of terminology. I hope we don’t have an androgynous ‘person of honour’ or ‘best person’. God made us male and female. Gender uniqueness is being thrown out the window in the modern wedding due to recent legislation. Let’s make sure that, if the bride’s best friend is a male, this ‘man of honour’ is not wearing dress – literally or metaphorically. 
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Also, if you would like to check out my book Forbidden Friendships, you can get the book off Amazon: Here in the USA  or Here in the UK


  1. I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. See the link below for more info.



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